Train # 2011

The watch declared 12/31/11/23/59/59 DreamTime. I was so ready.

On the edge of my excitement and the platform, I eagerly awaited my train. It was to take me on a special year-long tour to the places I had only imagined. The platform buzzed with the scream of a whistle and train # 2011 materialized, ready for me to hop in.

Decembertown arrived in no time. The train halted and I stepped out for my month-long vacation. As I entered the town, I wondered if I was dreaming. Everything in this place was bright and colorful and romantic, like a fairy tale. Putting aside my she-shyness for a while, I played like a Disney script and befriended a lost princess. A month escaped swiftly and I left her with a promise of coming back  for more adventure.

The next stop was Novembernagar. Everybody here knew so much about everyone else that it made me wonder if they were infected by Facebook virus. But to my own advantage, I opened up among them and sharpened my painfully inept socializing skills. By the end of the month, I even managed to recognize most of my relatives who had been strangers to me due to my short social-span. I was excited to explore more as the train entered Octoberpur. People here spoke a different tongue and I scrambled to communicate. It was only after I learned few everyday words that I managed to fit in. Their hospitality tasted sweeter now. In a month, I became one of them.

Septemberabad was full of hungry people; hungry for books. Their favorite pastime was reading. Wherever I went they had designated reading areas in place of smoking areas. Intrigued, I tried following the suit. In few days the wonderful world of books got me addicted to reading. I used the month for staycation, devouring variety of books. The train entered Augustburg and I instantly knew this was the place to be. It was a creativity hub; people here were creators - writers, designers, artists, entertainers. They earned living by doing what they loved  and were good at. A dream life and job indeed. I spent a month checking out their creativity and taking in few lessons for myself.

Next up was industrious, diverse and high-tech Julyganj. People here breathed technology. They along with their  creative neighbors made the lives of others easier and interesting by creating and availing ever-smart solutions to life's problems. I never felt so technocrazed and inspired when I left at the end of the month. Owning a business ranked highest in Junewadi's ambitious youngsters. They preferred to be self-bosses. The idea of making a life and living on your own terms was powerful enough to nudge anybody to think outside the bell. I picked up few tricks of the trade along the way.

People in Mayfort were totally in balance; living for others as much for themselves. A month of philanthropic company taught me how to bring into life the simple joy of giving. Aprilville was a lesser known tourist heaven. Its unaltered nature offered the perfect escape to people looking for rejuvenation. I was going to cherish a month of getaway for years. Sound bodies lived in Marchester. People here ate right, slept well and worked in and out to shape themselves in good health. A month was enough for me to get inspired and commit to healthy habits.

In Februarygarh the enlightened souls had submitted to the will of the higher power. Everybody here knew the purpose of life, had a clear direction to life's mazes, and all their actions were driven by taqwa. A month spent here was the most strengthening experience of this journey. Next stop, Januarypet, was a place of peace. People here were at peace with the world outside and within. Being among them for a month prompted me to rethink my desires, expectations and attachments. It pushed me to make peace with myself, because, it reasoned, you can't fight the world when you are at war within.

When the dream ended, the train was gone. But the journey still echoed my things-to-do this year. Having peace and guided direction would certainly help make way for the rest of the goals. A tab on health and a balanced life would shadow the trivial travails. A self-employing, tech-savvy and creativity-driven career would be more than fun. Time invested into reading, learning new languages and building social relations would never go down with market crash. Sweeping a princess off her feet would be thrilling, provided she maintained a sweepable weight. I wished the train did a U-turn and came back for the forward journey. 

The watch declared 1/1/11/00/00/00 RealTime. Was I ready?

Changeover

I'm aware of you (eagerly) waiting for your yearly dose of new year wishes from me; like that classified-wish, or that ear-wish, or that dear-wish. But this time you'll have to take some pain touring through my past Gregorian year, before I start dispensing my free wishes. Now that 2010 has officially kicked 2009 out of the present, I think we can get started. 


Like the last year, januworry started with the struggle for winning a meagre amount of India vacation. It was eventually won and was well worth it. All the excitement and special memories were part of the package. Getting back to work was like being exposed to a hard februtality; pretending to be working was not so hard though. After the splurging vacation the focus had shifted to balancing my financial boat. But it was unbearably shameful not to spend when the world economy was marching down the south pole. Then it was spring, the buds opened and flowers appeared. Notwithstanding my poor sense of romance, I apriled like a consenting fool. Then there was that memory loss, precisely when I turned 22 again. It was like my may day, a holiday from mental labor. Summer showed up early, making fun of the borders of my calendar. Air conditioner was about to become a juniversal appliance.

I grew suspicious of my normally juliable instincts when things seemed to be just fine but I knew it was temporary. Like that longest solar eclipse that lasted six minutes and 38 seconds. Health concerns started taking over soon and 4-days a week gymming was undertaken in the wake of augusting enthusiasm. It was short lived, of course. Ramazan came along as a savior. Uplifting as it was, I reconciled with the God and made peace with septemper. Knocktober mood was back when I realized the year was approaching an end and I hadn't taken care of its resolutions, whatever they were. As if an apple a year wasn't enough, I made way for both iPhone and MacBook Pro marking the end of knowember. Knowledge anywhere was the intention, seriously. Without any apparent reason I grew impatient to end the year. No wonder I started endecembering by cutting corners everywhere. Versifying, guessuming, eggxaggerating, harmoneying, dreamnunicating, delazying, alienating were some of the other ingredients that contributed to my life's khichdi throughout the year.

Now your favorite part. But (sorry,) I won't serve you a long list of wishes this time. I'll rely on you to get my drift. New year is just a convenient boundary; it could have been any day we wanted. That explains to me why for some it's just another reason for hangover. And why, for some, it's a handy excuse for changeover. Almost.

Happy New Ear

Our wishes to friends and families have become so routinely boring that it makes me wonder if we really mean what we wish. Even if you consider every wish genuine, you would remember only those that are different from the happy-so-and-so types. So this new year let me lend a special ear (figuratively) to this whole wish thing. It would be a personal touch that would make you smile, or laugh, or freak out, or cry, or whatever expression except the usual one. Some samples follow.

Occasion: It's your birthday (you are a nut).

Boring wish: Ranges from Happy birthday! -to- Many many happy returns of the day!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, your birth was a blessing for the scientists. They studied your brain where in left nothing was right and in right nothing was left. I know you said you will work hard to reverse the situation. Now that you have completed 27 years already, I can see you have hardly worked. Now in left nothing is left and in right nothing is right. Wish you many more such reversals.

Occasion: It's your wedding (you got a great deal).

Boring wish: Ranges from Congrats! -to- Have a great married life!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, I was just Googling for the (free) greeting cards to wish you and guess what, I found millions of cards with pictures of broken hearts. They were all addressed to your spouse. You lucky @#$%^&*. I will have to wait until I get a better card to wish.

Occasion: You are not well (you are a geek).

Boring wish: Ranges from Get well soon! -to- Wish you a speedy recovery!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, last time we talked over phone, I bluetoothed some of my neurons into your brain. Now wait for the magic. They have been programmed to electrify the red blood cells and supply the missing energy to your cytoplasm. That will awaken your lazy lysosomes for clean up. Once done, the absconding mitochondria and ribosomes will have to get back to work and provide you the much needed sanity. Finally, the endoplasmic reticulum will be barred from transporting any of your good health to the outside world. And there you go!

Occasion: It's {festival} time (you are such a goody person).

Boring wish: Ranges from Happy/Merry {festival}! -to- Wishing you a blessed {festival}!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, this {festival}, I don't have much to wish for you. Just what you might have forgotten to wish for. That completes my wish.

Occasion: You've become a proud parent (you are beaming).

Boring wish: Ranges from Congrats on arrival of new family member! -to- May God bless him/her with {so-and-so}!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, I was wondering why I didn't see any stars last night. Then I remembered you saying you were shooting for stars. Please send me the travel tickets with your savings from electricity so that I can come see the kid.

Occasion: It's new year (today!).

Boring wish: Ranges from Happy new year! -to- Wish you and your family a happy and prosperous new year!; period.

Scoring wish: Hey you, I've sent you two big boxes; one to stuff all the bad things from the last year, and the other for you to keep and store all the little things that made you smile. I will miss being with you this new year but will catch up soon once I'm done destroying the first box so that you'll never have to see it again. I hope by the time the next year ends, you need only one and bigger box!

So my friends and family can expect something similar now on. My wish may not be the best, but will be different from the rest. Almost.

H-A-P-P-Y N-E-W Y-E-A-R

Here are my wishes for you for this new year.

For your personal habits (which are almost incorrigible)

May you get up early in the morning, not to thrash the alarm and go back to sleep but to enjoy the beauty of the morning. May you brush your teeth, not just look at them in the mirror and "looks ok; tomorrow." May you take bath, not just a face-wash. May you dress for work, not for the fashion show. May you have proper breakfast, not just the residues of the previous night. May you have time for good lunch-dinner, not just french fries.

For your health (now what's that?)

May your family of bills include health check-ups, gymming and anything else it takes to maintain good health, and not just phone calls, movies and food. May this year bring disappointment to your dentist, optometrist, cardiologist, podiatrist, dermatologist, gastro-enterologist, urologist, and most importantly, your psychiatrist. May you think healthy, not just look healthy. May you find yourself youthful, not just beautifool.

For your relation-ships (don't remember a steady one?)

May you find enough time to spend with your family, not just dry phone calls. May you remember to say "I love you" to your spouse, your children, your parents, and not just to your secretary or nurse. May you make more new friends, and not lose the old ones. May you show gratitude to your girlfriend/boyfriend for bearing with you. May you remember him/her whether you are in Bilimora, Bangalore or Boston. May you get the relatives who are not relative to your success or failure. May you respect your relations, not just use them.

For your career and finance (who cares?)

May you make more money this year, to pay the bills of the last year. May you show up on time for the morning meetings. May you be prepared before attending the meetings. May you know what the meeting is for before preparing for it. Most importantly, may you remember there is a meeting! May you try to understand a day's work before declaring it outrageous. May you take work-breaks in between your coffee sessions. May your boss understand your capacities, and accordingly give you minimum work. May you get promotion, without any motion in work.

There is lot more (good) to wish, but you know I am a bit lazy. So I hope these wishes make your new year rocking and rolling. If not, let me know the missing wishes so that I can include them in the next year's list. Almost.